Which do you prefer? Being confined to a future built upon re-living past pain, or unlocking your Truth through re-writing your memories?
In life, our stories are what shape our reality. Every experience, memory, and wound we carry affects how we see the world. Sometimes, these stories lift us up, but other times, they weigh us down, influencing our present and future without us even knowing. By understanding how our mind records these stories, we can change our fate into the destiny we know is ours.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi
Let’s explore how our past wounds shape our current reality and learn to rewrite our futures on purpose and with joy.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Close your eyes and think. The stories you tell yourself about your past aren’t just thoughts. They shape your reality. Whether you see yourself as a survivor or a victim, your inner stories from past experiences guide your life. Stories carry feelings, acting as anchors that either help you grow or keep you stuck in the same place, telling the same dusty old tale.
Our stories often come from our childhoods or key moments in our lives. They might not even be ours; they could be things we picked up from our parents, guardians, or society. They could be beliefs developing from traumatic events, beliefs we have because we’ve never been proven otherwise, or simply beliefs we were told were true but actually just belonged to someone else, and we absorbed them because we didn’t have another perspective. These stories shape how we see the world. For example, if you were told you were not worthy or good enough when you were young, that story lives in you and affects every relationship, your finances, your family life, every possibility and opportunity presenting itself to you, and more.
Your stories are not set in stone, however. They are fluid, ever-changing, and within your power to rewrite. As you refine your narrative, you also refine your reality. Let’s give you a foundation where you tell the story of every wound having a purpose and every challenge leading to profound, positive transformation. In doing so, you transform fate into destiny, crafting a joyfully and expansively manifested life.
What Is A “Story?”
When I say the word Story, I mean the words you repeat to yourself in your head. The little voice in there telling you things, the little devil on your shoulder whispering decisions to you from fears created years ago. For me, I re-live situations that were completely OK at the moment and create reasons to carry social anxieties into the future unless I catch myself. The little voice in my head wasn’t so little; she was mean, knew how to push all of my buttons, and made me feel small, vulnerable, and completely worthless, or like I’d done something wrong. At every turn. It wasn’t healthy, and many of us struggle with this little storyteller on a daily basis.
Do you have a line running in your head over and over? Sometimes, it takes reading something just like this to catch the slippery little things.
From now on, watch and listen carefully to your thoughts and see if there’s something in there that’s definitely not you. This is just a story. And you can re-write it, pulling in your dream destiny and leaving that dusty old fate to disintegrate.
Our Map of the World
Nobody has been through what you have. Your life’s string of incidents and experiences are yours and yours alone. When we think about incidents and experiences, they start to weave together from the moment we’re born (or even beforehand, in the cases of generational wounds and past life experiences.) This tapestry makes up the lens you see, hear, know, think, and sense through in all waking moments of your life – it’s, in essence, your map of the world. Nobody has the same map. We’re all living in and from a different territory. This is how we can easily get off track in miscommunications or realize we remember things differently than someone who was with us during an event.
So, if our minds are actually making up a reality to fit within what we believe from past experiences, does that mean it even existed at all? Once we digest the human reality that our brains make sh*t up, we can begin digging into our memories and re-map our past, directing us towards a much happier, healthier future. In fact, we can call the process “remembering” as it’s often what happens on the spiritual journey as we travel back to our Truth.
How Memory Crafts Our Reality
When we recall a memory, our mind doesn’t retrieve an exact replica. Instead, it assembles fragments of a situation we lived through and infuses it with emotions and meanings. In essence, the human brain is wired to construct and follow narratives to make sense of the world through our map. These memories and narratives can either confine us or unlock our true potential. Understanding this empowers us to become the architects of our life story, rather than feeling ensnared in a predetermined fate.
So which do you prefer? Being confined to a future built upon re-living past pain, or unlocking your Truth through re-writing choice narratives?
What is Neuroplasticity?
Before we dive deeper into our past and various psychological traumas we may have received, let’s get the good news. Our brains are magical, and if we decide to do the work, we can change our grey matter. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change and create new informational paths. This means our brains are not stuck with the same patterns and stories forever. Instead, they have the ability to transform.
Picture your brain as a lush forest. The paths you walk often become clear and easy, like the thoughts and beliefs forming the stories that are so dear to holding your current life where it is. Neuroplasticity lets us create new trails, opening up fresh ideas and healthier stories. When we focus on open-ended stories, removing expectations from them, we start to form new paths, guiding our brains toward growth, healing, and the truth behind how we can manifest our dreams with just thoughts, introspection, and faith.
Understanding that brain pathways can change helps us see that we have the power to reshape these stories. By retelling our stories with wisdom and growth response instead of fear and lack, we can reprogram our subconscious and transform our reality and future with joy and expansiveness.
How Does the Human Brain Make Memories?
In the magical world of our minds, memories are the threads that make up how we see our lives. When we experience something, our brain takes it in and creates memories. This happens in a small part of the brain called the hippocampus, where what we see, hear, smell, and feel come together to make long-term memories.
However, we rarely remember events exactly as they happened. Our memories are influenced by our perceptions, emotions, and life experiences – our map of the world. This means two people will experience the same event and remember it in very different ways, shaped by their past experiences and beliefs. Over time, these memories become the stories we tell ourselves about our lives, and the fact of the matter is the stories aren’t even the truth after all.
Memory is not a fixed recording but a dynamic process. Each time we recall a memory, it can change ever so slightly, much like how a story can change with each retelling or the game of telephone can change through ten children’s telling. This changeable nature of our minds helps us understand how our past hurts shape our present. Painful memories can become fixed, old stories affecting our thoughts, feelings, actions, and expectations.
How Do Our Past Wounds Influence Our Current Reality?
Every scar on our hearts and minds shapes the lens through which we view the world. This lens determines how we react, perceive, and engage with life’s challenges. Past wounds act like invisible strings, pulling us back to moments of pain and limiting our ability to fully embrace the present and future. When you were hurt, your mind recorded the emotions, circumstances, and survival mechanisms. These memories, stored deep within, unconsciously influence your responses and decision-making processes today.
Triggers
A trigger is like a hidden landmine in the landscape of your mind, an unexpected event or situation that sets off a chain reaction of emotions, flashbacks, or distress. It’s not just the event itself but the resonance it carries with past traumas and unresolved memories. Triggers tap into those deeply stored hurts, bringing them abruptly into the present moment. These could be anything from a specific scent, a familiar song, or a casual remark that echoes a painful experience. It’s your brain’s response to an alarm or red flag and is trying to help you escape danger quickly. However, what happens when your brain is triggered, and danger isn’t presenting itself? This makes life much more difficult since you’re constantly living in a perceived threat. Your life can be drastically influenced and can affect your social, work, family, and every other area of life imaginable.
Think about the moments when an unexpected harsh word or situation triggered your intense emotional reaction. For me, it was always a boss asking me into their office, or my telephone ringing. They would send me into a tailspin of epic proportions, leaving my mind to jump to every threat imaginable – always ending in bad news that would ultimately have me destitute on the streets because I lost a job or got a bill I couldn’t pay. My example could be a little far-fetched, but the feeling I had of desperate, gut-liquidizing fear each time these tiny things happened was real.
Reactions like this are echoes from the past, yet still affecting current life. Old stories, like being unworthy, unlovable, or incapable—narratives born from past hurts and betrayals—get kicked up when we’re in such situations, making our brain believe we’re once again in danger. Such limiting beliefs embedded in our subconscious and being re-told moment by moment become self-fulfilling prophecies, tying us to a fated future cemented solidly to past pain.
What Are Limiting Beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are a type of hidden story we tell ourselves. They’re like invisible chains holding you back from reaching your fullest potential. These internal stories create a restrictive view of yourself and the world. Whether it’s a belief that you aren’t good enough, smart enough, or deserving of love, these internal narratives shape your reality by filtering how you perceive and react to life’s events.
Think of your mind as an ancient library where every story, every belief has been cataloged. Some of these stories are empowering and propel you forward, but others act as shadowy phantoms shrouded in doubt and fear. These limiting beliefs often stem from childhood experiences, societal conditioning, or traumatic events, embedding themselves deeply into your subconscious mind.
The power these beliefs hold over you isn’t because they are inherently true, but because you believe in them. They become self-fulfilling prophecies, creating a fate that feels inescapable. However, when you start to recognize these limiting stories and understand that they are merely interpretations and not the ultimate truth, a profound shift begins to happen. You start to reclaim your narrative. You begin to take back the story – you’re no longer held captive by the story, you become the storyteller… and you realize it truly is your story – and yours only – to tell.
Limiting beliefs are found in the inner workings behind what triggers unwelcome, uncomfortable emotional responses from you. Whether a blast of anger, shame, guilt, sadness, or requirement for immediate solitude and isolation, it’s a good idea to reflect on the exact experience, words that were said to you, or words you said to yourself right before this emotional response. Gather them up and begin the process of finding that limiting belief hidden within.
Ways to Identify Limiting Beliefs
The first step to identifying limiting beliefs is to become aware of recurring patterns in your life. When you notice situations that seem to repeat themselves—whether that’s in relationships, career struggles, or feelings of self-worth—pay close attention. These patterns are like signposts, pointing to deeper narratives etched into your subconscious.
Another method is to examine your self-talk. The mind is incredibly adept at weaving these stories, and the words you say to yourself can reveal much about the scripts you’re following. Are your inner dialogues filled with doubts and fears? Statements such as “I’m not good enough,” “I always fail,” or “I don’t deserve happiness” are often clues to deeply held, limiting beliefs.
Utilizing the power of journaling can also bring these hidden narratives to light. Regularly writing down your thoughts and feelings creates a tangible way to observe patterns and recurring themes. Ask yourself probing questions like, “Why do I believe this?” or “Where did this belief come from?”. As you peel back the layers, the influences that have shaped these beliefs will become clearer.
Recognizing these influences is the first step toward flipping that fate into destiny. By becoming aware of the stories we’ve allowed to define us, we open a doorway to transform these narratives. We can begin to ask ourselves: What story am I living? For whom am I living this story? Is this story serving my highest good? These questions can light the path toward healing and re-authoring our lives. The power lies within us to perceive these stories, acknowledge the wounds, and consciously choose to heal, rewriting our destiny with intention and grace.
Shadow Work
Shadow work is a deep, introspective process where you bring the unconscious parts of yourself into the light. These are the hidden aspects of your psyche, often formed from past wounds and suppressed emotions. By delving into this shadow realm, you begin to uncover the stories you’ve told yourself and the limiting beliefs holding you back.
Understanding Your Shadow: The shadow self is essentially the reservoir of what you’ve disowned or rejected within you. It’s in these shadows that limiting beliefs often take root. These beliefs can form a narrative that you aren’t even consciously aware of, dictating your behavior and decisions.
For instance, if you’ve internalized a belief that you’re not worthy of love, this shadow narrative will subtly influence how you interact in relationships. You might self-sabotage, push people away, or settle for less than you deserve—all because this limiting belief is casting its shadow on your actions.
Confronting these shadows isn’t about banishing them but understanding and integrating them. When you shine the light of awareness on your shadow, you transform these previously hidden elements into sources of strength and insight.
Embracing your shadow allows you to rewrite your narrative. You may find that what once was a story of limitation transforms into one of potential and growth. Each shadow uncovered and each belief redefined paves the way for a future where you are the conscious author of your own destiny.
Breaking Free From Limiting Narratives
At the heart of our personal narratives lies the power to either liberate or confine. When you begin to notice the limiting stories you’ve accepted as truths, you start to see how they hem you in with invisible walls. These narratives were usually formed from past wounds—moments of pain that the mind recorded in vivid detail, often leaving behind a sediment of fear, doubt, or insecurity.
Understanding that these stories are not immutable truths but constructs allows you to transform your relationship with them. Instead of seeing yourself as a prisoner of past events, you can perceive these events as mere chapters in the evolving story of your life. When you identify a limiting narrative, ask yourself: does this story belong to me, or do I belong to it?
By shifting this perspective, you empower yourself to rewrite these narratives. This is where the magic happens. Rewriting your story means acknowledging the wound but also recognizing the wisdom it has imparted. Remember, a story can be told in many ways. By choosing to tell it in a way that emphasizes growth and resilience, you break free from its old, limiting grip and step into a more expansive future.
Think about engaging a coach or mentor to help you through the first rounds of limiting belief and shadow work. Energetic healings to balance and align your energy, and go even deeper into removing energy that isn’t helping you may be necessary as well. Consider joining my group, Beyond, where you receive a weekly energy healing and daily channeled information and integrations, plus a deep resource library with courses, meditations, and everything you can think of to ease your spiritual journey, wherever you are on it. We would love to see you there!
If you’re still hanging on, let’s move on to part 2 of this blog – where we step more into the woo and you can see how my mind works through these stories, linking our emotions together with our spirituality. We get a little intense in this, however there are golden nuggets within that may help spur you to re-write your stories and begin the path to your destiny! Join me!
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