Most people assume spirit guides exist to hand them neatly wrapped answers—like cosmic instruction manuals for life’s biggest decisions. They try and try to communicate, to meet their guides, and face… silence. If this is you, I’m here to tell you… that’s not how this works.

Note: This is the first in my Spirit Guide Communication: The Boardroom Method. Please check out the next ones, after you read this article!

• 1: Spirit Guides and Their Messages: Everything You Know Is Wrong
• 2: Spirit Guide Communication: The Boardroom Method
• 3: Spirit Guide Communication: Conducting Your Meeting
• 4: Pendulum Divination & Muscle Testing for Spirit Guide Messages

As always, remember that I deeply respect that everyone has their own experiences. The following is what I’ve personally found to be true, over decades of experience and relationships with many in the industry who (sometimes silently) feel the same. My work is to disrupt the status quo and is meant for those who resonate with it, and want real, transformative change. If it’s not for you, that’s totally okay. There are many paths to truth. I encourage everyone to follow their own.

If you’ve ever asked your guides a big, life-changing question—only to be met with silence—you’re not alone. It’s not that your guides don’t care. It’s not that you’re blocked. It’s that you’re asking in a way they can’t answer—or listening in a way that won’t let you hear.

I know this because I’ve lived it.

The First Time I Realized Silence Was an Answer

There was a time when I felt completely disconnected from my guides. I was in a dark place, feeling emotionally blocked, spiritually lost—and the silence was deafening.

I kept asking them for guidance, for direction, for something—anything. But they weren’t talking. Not even a whisper. It felt like they had abandoned me in my most desperate moment.

But here’s what I learned: their silence wasn’t punishment. It was guidance.

They weren’t going to push through my emotional noise. They weren’t going to yell over my heightened state. They were waiting—giving me space to clear my mind, sort through my emotions, and come back when I could actually hear them.

And that lesson changed everything.

Because if you’re desperate, frantic, forcing, pushing, needing—your guides won’t engage. Not because they don’t care, but because you can’t hear them clearly from that space anyway.

When we don’t do the inner work first—when we haven’t sorted our emotions, quieted our mental clutter, or even created space for them to come in—they take a step back. Not away from us, but into the bleachers, watching, waiting, knowing we’ll come back when we’re ready.

It’s not rejection. It’s alignment.

What This Post Will Go Over

By the time you finish reading, you’ll understand:

• What spirit guides actually are (and what they’re not).
• Why they “ignore” certain questions (hint: it’s not personal).
• How to ask for guidance in a way that actually gets a response.

You’ll also get real tools to strengthen your connection—without falling into the traps that keep most people stuck in silence.

Because your guides are communicating. The real questions are:
Are you asking in a way they can actually answer?
And are you listening in a way you can actually hear?

What Spirit Guides Are (And What They’re Not)

Most people have a completely inaccurate idea of what spirit guides actually do.
They imagine some all-knowing, ever-present being whose job is to hand them answers, predict the future, and keep them safe from every mistake.

That’s not how this works.

Let’s Start With What They’re Not:

• They are not omniscient fortune tellers.
  • Your guides don’t see your future in a neat little timeline. They work with energy, possibility, and alignment—not fixed outcomes.
• They are NOT ghosts, passed loved ones, or ancestors.
  • This is where most people get confused—and it’s a major difference between my perspective and the typical “spirit guide” blog.
• Your passed loved ones may be around, but they are not spirit guides.
  • Why? Because they are still holding human energy. They are seeing life through the lens of their own experiences, their own perspectives, their own attachments.
  • Aunt Sally might mean well, but she’s not an evolved, divine guide. And if she’s giving you messages, she might be speaking from her own unfinished human lessons—not from a place of universal wisdom.

So while they may visit, comfort, or offer insight, it’s best not to follow them as guides. Otherwise, you may be steering your life according to the beliefs of someone who didn’t even have it all figured out when they were alive.

If you have a passed loved one who’s around a lot, give them a home within your home. Let them settle into a specific space—an altar, a framed photo, a candle—so you can keep that connection and communication separate from actual spirit guide communication.

Why Most Spiritual Authorities Get This Wrong

If you’ve been taught that your spirit guides include your passed loved ones, ghosts, or ancestors, you’re not alone.

Most spiritual blogs, books, and teachers blend these together—because it’s comforting. It feels good to think that Grandma is still guiding you from beyond.

But here’s the hard truth: Guides and passed loved ones are not the same thing.

Your passed loved ones may still be connected to you, but they are not divine guides. They carry human energy, human emotions, and human limitations. They see things through their own personal experiences—not from a place of pure, divine wisdom.

And that’s a big deal.

Because if you’re letting human energy guide you as if it’s divine, you might want to rethink who you’re listening to.

So What Are Spirit Guides?

If they’re not magical fixers, decision-makers, or cosmic psychics, then what is their actual role?

• They are advisors, not directors.
  They offer insight, perspective, and nudges toward alignment—but they won’t control your choices.
• Their goal for you is expansion, not comfort.
  Guides don’t exist to keep you “safe” from mistakes. They lead you into growth—even if it feels messy or painful.
• They operate through subtle nudges, not direct commands.
  Most of their guidance comes through feeling, energy shifts, synchronicities, and metaphor—not a voice in your head saying, “Do this now.”
• They work with divine intelligence, not personal attachment.
  They’re not emotionally invested in what feels “right” or “wrong” to you at the moment. Their job is to help you step into your highest timeline—even if that means letting you struggle through a “wrong” path to gain what you need.

Different Types of Spirit Guides

Not all guides function the same way. Here’s a breakdown some of the different types you might encounter. Now, remember putting them into “types” is something our human minds like to do from a place of ego and trying to know; these beings are widespread, from different dimensions, yet all come from pure divine energy, so there’s no real difference, yet there’s great differences:

1. Your Higher Self

Your first and most direct guide is actually YOU—your highest, most evolved self, the part of you that sees beyond human limitation. If you’re ignoring this connection, no amount of external guide communication will help.

2. Teacher Guides and or Angels

These guides specialize in wisdom, insight, and life lessons. They help you integrate new spiritual knowledge, offer perspective shifts, and push you to think in ways you wouldn’t on your own.

3. Protector Guides and or Angels

These guides focus on energetic safety and boundary enforcement. Their job isn’t to keep you in a bubble—it’s to teach you how to hold your own power and discernment in a world full of mixed energies.

4. Ancestral Guides (Rare, and NOT the Same as Passed Loved Ones)

Ancestral guides are not just anyone in your bloodline who has passed.

Your great-aunt who baked pies and crocheted blankets?
Not an ancestral guide. It doesn’t matter how much you loved her or she loved you, she’s not a divine guide.

Ancestral guides are spiritually evolved, highly ascended beings from a lineage, culture, or spiritual tradition—people who have fully transitioned into divine intelligence. They could be from your current blood lineage or something you carry from a past life elsewhere… perhaps you’re not connected via blood or lives – it could be a different connection altogether. 

These are often great shamans, elders, or individuals from nature-based cultures who lived in deep balance with the masculine, feminine, and cosmos. They don’t come through with personal agendas—they come through as pure wisdom.

If your ancestor still has strong opinions, still feels attached to human identity, or is guiding from their own past struggles? I’m sorry to report: They aren’t an ancestral guide—they’re just an ancestor.

5. Devas (Specialized Guides)

Some guides, such as Devas, focus on specific areas of your life—your creativity, your physical health, your business, or your spiritual practices. These guides work within highly refined energies and often require a more advanced level of communication to recognize and interpret. I call in Devas in all long-tail communications and “board meetings” with my guides to make sure I’m pin-pointing the communication and getting clear, bold, correct answers aligned very specifically to my line of questioning and the direction I’m pointing myself.

(For a deeper understanding of Devas and their role in spiritual intelligence, see the work of the Perelandra Institute and Machaelle Small Wright’s book Behaving as if the God in All Things Mattered. In my opinion, it’s a very important foundational spiritual book and is revolutionary – and a pleasure – to read.)

5. Star Beings, Galactic Guides, Cosmic Councils, Extraterrestrials, etc

These highly advanced, non-physical intelligences—such as Arcturians, Pleiadians, and Sirians—offer guidance on planetary evolution, spiritual expansion, and multidimensional healing. The cosmic council I channel is called the Melchizedekian Priesthood of the 7th Ray; a mouthful to say, and consisting of very highly-ordered divine beings from human and non-human origin. These are my main “Board of Directors” I call in when necessary.
(the following two posts about spirit guides – part 2 here and part 3 here for more information.)

The Takeaway: Your Spirit Guides Aren’t Here to Do It for You

Spirit guides exist to support, nudge, and expand—but they will never override your free will.

If you’ve been expecting your guides to act like cosmic babysitters, handing you every answer and preventing every mistake, it’s time to shift your understanding.

They are here. They are always speaking.

The real questions become:

• Are you listening? If so, exactly who are you listening to?
• And this begs the questions—what are you asking, exactly who are you asking, and do they have the same context and/or definitions of words as you?

Why Your Guides Don’t Speak in Words—And How to Read Their Language

Most people expect their spirit guides to talk to them the way humans do.
They want a clear, disembodied voice saying, “Yes, take this job,” or “No, don’t date that person.”

That’s not how guides communicate.

Because guides usually don’t talk. They reveal.

They work through feeling, metaphor, energy shifts, synchronicity, and symbols. And if you don’t know how to read their language, you’ll think they’re ignoring you—when in reality, they’re answering all the time.

That Time My Guides Used a Rock to Tell Me to Shut Up

Last week, I was on a road trip, chewing on something mentally. I tend to do this—long stretches of quiet time in the car are prime channeling hours for me. No music, no podcasts—just me, my thoughts, and the space to process.

But this time, I wasn’t processing. I was arguing.
At first I was mentally playing out the conversation, building my case—just really digging into my feelings – giving myself the time to understand myself and the situation at hand. Yet it took a turn. At some point I was getting riled up. Truly arguing. Becoming righteous, deeply hurt (because I was embellishing the story, as we all do sometimes), and generally starting to spin into a very negative space for everyone involved, even if this was only taking place in my mind.

And then, out of nowhere—a rock hit my windshield.

My pretty, shiny brand-new windshield.
The one I had spent two months trying to replace, at an absurd cost and days out of my schedule.

I knew instantly what had just happened. My guides had interrupted me. In an impressively poignant way.

This wasn’t random. This was a metaphor in motion.

• They were telling me to stop. To quit fueling the mental fire before it turned into something destructive.
• They were reminding me to do the right work. To release the pain properly, to sit with it instead of mentally spiraling, blaming, and letting a story that I didn’t know was even truly true take over my mindset.
• They were telling me to trust them. That when the moment came for a real conversation, the words would come from clarity and with ease.

And, of course, they were right.

If I had kept going down that road (literally and mentally), I would have burned myself out, gotten physically sick, and twisted the story into something far worse than it actually was.

It was a hard stop—a spiritual “enough already.”
Good for my soul. Not great for my windshield. (Aaand back to the auto shop I go.)

How Spirit Guides Actually Communicate

If you’ve been expecting a voice in your head—stop. That’s not how they work.

Here’s what real spirit guide communication looks like:

• Subtle nudges & gut feelings – That pull toward a book, a song, or a conversation? That’s them.
• Repeating and deeply felt patterns & synchronicities – Seeing the same theme pop up many times, deeply and in different ways? That’s not random.
• Dreams & subconscious downloads – Waking up with a thought that suddenly makes sense? Or some deep instinctual feeling? Your guides may have been talking while you were asleep.
• Information that “just drops in” – Instead of something you figure out like a math problem… you wake up just knowing an answer, you suddenly feel like it’s “dropped” into your head, or you see or hear something completely unrelated that pulls all of the information together for you? Yeah… that’s a spirit guide gift!
• Metaphor & perspective shifts – Spirit guides don’t hand you answers. They shift your view until the answer becomes obvious.

How to Actually “Hear” Your Guides (Without Expecting Words)

If you’ve been waiting for a voice in your head, you’re missing 99% of their messages. Yes, a few clairaudient people can “hear” this way; the disembodied voice thing (I deeply don’t prefer this type of communication… the “boo factor” creeps me out so I asked my guides and any unseen entities to knock it off – yes. You can do this.) Anyway, if you’re like me and don’t want this creepy communication (my words, not yours!), or you haven’t tuned up your clairaudience just yet, here’s how to tune in:

• Pay attention to what keeps repeating. Your guides speak through patterns. If you’re seeing or experiencing the same thing over and over, there’s a reason.
• Drop the emotional noise. If you’re desperate for an answer, you’ll twist any sign to fit what you want. Calm first, listen second.
• Drop the physical noise. Turn off all electronics: music, podcasts, tv, media, ALL OF IT. If you’re immersing yourself in external noise, you won’t have the room to sort through the internal noise. You’re using a coping strategy to distract yourself from your inner dialogue – and your guides can’t get in either. If it’s uncomfortable for you to be in silence, this is an extra important step for you.
• Ask for confirmation. Instead of “Is this real?” ask: “If this is you, show me again in a different way.” This is one of the best questions: “Show me.” It is so beautiful.
• Think like a poet, not a scientist. Spirit guides communicate in metaphor, symbols, and energy. The more you open up to reading beyond the literal, the more guidance you’ll receive. For example, try to begin experiencing your 5 senses through metaphor and poetry instead of tangible “3rd dimension” experiences.

The Takeaway: If You Think Your Guides Aren’t Speaking, You’re Not Listening

They are always communicating. The real question is:

• Are you expecting words instead of listening to energy?
  Are you willing to read the signs instead of demanding an instruction manual?
  Can you sit in the discomfort of the unknown long enough for clarity to emerge?

Because your guides are speaking. They always have been.

Why Your Guides Give “Wrong” Answers (And Why They’re Actually Right)

If you’ve ever followed what you thought was spirit guide guidance—only to have it blow up in your face—you know how frustrating this can be. I do too.

• You ask for a sign. You get it. You follow it. And it goes terribly for you.
• You get a clear yes to something, and then… nothing works.
• You trust their answer, but in hindsight, it seems like they were completely wrong.

So what’s the deal?
Are guides messing with you? Were you not listening correctly? Were they being mean?

The truth is, they weren’t wrong, you weren’t wrong, and nobody is being mean.
They were leading you somewhere you didn’t even know you needed to go. 

That Time My Guides Said “Yes” to the Wrong Coaches—And Why They Were Right

When I was building my business, I asked my guides at every step whether I needed a new coach or program to help me break through.

And every time a new coach came onto my radar, I asked, “Is this the one?”

Every time, my guides said YES. Enthusiastically.

So I followed.

And I spent around $100k on all kinds of coaches—good ones, bad ones, strategy-focused ones, mindset-focused ones, spiritually-business-minded ones… the whole spectrum.

And you know what happened? Nothing.

No clients. No business success. No promised breakthroughs – and they all promised breakthroughs.

At the time, I was frustrated. It felt like my guides had led me down the wrong road, again and again. I was so blocked. I was in a prison of not being able to see, hear, know… the whole nine.

But years later, I realized something:

• Every single one of those experiences taught me something essential.
• I was pulling from a bank of wisdom I had no idea I was building.
• Those investments weren’t about those moments—they were about what was coming later.
• They were giving me the necessary time to sort my inner junk drawer out and clean it up.

If my guides had given me the “right” answer at the time—the answer I thought I wanted—I would have played too small. (Waaaaay too small!)

They weren’t guiding me toward the fastest path to success.
They were guiding me toward expansion, depth, and mastery.

And I wouldn’t have known that until much, much later.

Why Guides “Mislead” You on Purpose

• They don’t see failure the way you do. You think in terms of success vs. failure. They think in terms of expansion vs. stagnation.
• They give you what you need, not what you want. Sometimes, the “wrong” path delivers the exact lesson or experience that shifts your entire future.
• They work with energy, not logic. Their job isn’t to steer you toward the most efficient path—it’s to steer you toward the most aligned one.
• They give you “mistakes” on purpose.
  Guides will sometimes give you an answer they know will be painful—because the learning is in the experience, not in the avoidance of it. Coincidentally, these “mistakes” get you to your alignment faster than ever, if approached correctly.

How to Know If a “Wrong” Answer Was Actually a Lesson

If something your guides told you feels like it led you off track, ask yourself:

• Did I gain something from this experience that I wouldn’t have otherwise? 
• Did this path force me to level up in a way I wasn’t expecting?
• Did this show me a blind spot I wouldn’t have seen?
• Is it possible I don’t have the full picture yet?

Very often, you won’t see the truth of their guidance until later.

The Takeaway: Your Spirit Guides Don’t Care About Comfort—They Care About Expansion

If you feel like your guides gave you a wrong answer, pause before you write it off.

• Are you judging it too soon?
• Are you assuming ease = alignment?
• Are you mistaking discomfort for a mistake?

Because your guides are always leading you somewhere.

Sometimes, the path is harder than you expected.
But that doesn’t mean it was the wrong one.

Stop Asking Guides the Wrong Questions—How to Get Answers That Actually Make Sense

Most people get frustrated with their spirit guides because they don’t understand how to ask.

• They get silence and assume their guides are ignoring them.
• They get a “wrong” answer and think they can’t trust them.
• They get mixed signals and assume guides are just throwing darts at a board.

But the issue isn’t the guides.

It’s who you’re calling in, what you’re asking, and whether you even understand how they’re answering.

Let’s fix that.

If You’ve Been Told NOT to Ask Yes/No Questions—That’s Just Wrong.

Apparently, there’s been a long-standing myth floating around the spiritual community that says:

“Never ask spirit guides yes/no questions.”

I just found out about this while writing this post, and… YUCK. Just yuck. (Internet, do you truly mean to tell me that for 30+ years people have been giving this advice? I find this shocking! And so sad…) Here’s why:

• Yes/no is BINARY. It’s THE strongest way to get clarity, immediately.
• Yes/no isn’t the problem. Asking the wrong yes/no question, or not having the right context and definitions as your guides do, is the problem.
• Your guides aren’t refusing to answer—they’re trying to get you to ask better.

So where did this bad advice come from? Well, I did some research because this was blowing my mind:

• Pendulum Misuse – Beginners would get mixed results with pendulums and assumed yes/no was unreliable, instead of realizing they were influencing the answer.
• Old-School Psychics – Some psychics claimed “guides won’t tell you yes/no because they want you to make your own decisions,” which got misinterpreted as “never ask yes/no.”
• Free Will Misunderstanding – People were told “guides won’t give you a yes/no because there’s no single right answer,” instead of being taught “some things are your choice, but yes/no is still a very valuable tool.”

This bad advice has been floating around for decades, y’all. And if you’ve believed it—good news. You can throw it out.

Yes/no questions are absolutely necessary—but only truly useful if you understand how to use them.

The Truth About Yes/No Questions (It’s Not About the Answer—It’s About the Context)

Yes/no questions are the foundation of strong guide communication.

Why? Because they’re binary. They force a clear response.

But there’s a catch.

Yes/no only works if you’re:

• Asking something that actually has a yes/no answer.
• Asking the right yes/no answer (this is tricky. Keep reading.)
• Pulling in the right guides for the topic.
• Following up with yes/no peripheral questions to get deeper clarity.

The problem isn’t about yes/no. The problem lies in a multitude of different ways you can ask, contexts with which you’re listening, defining your words, and constructing your grammar. And the only way to really sort this out? PRACTICE.

For instance, something as simple as asking your guides about consuming an orange today can look like the following:

• “Should I eat an orange today?” vs. “Is an orange what I should eat today?” (The first asks about eating an orange at all; the second assumes eating is necessary and asks if an orange is the right choice.)
• “Should I eat an orange today?” vs. “Do I need to eat an orange today?” (One asks for permission, the other assumes importance.)
• “Would eating an orange be good for me today?” vs. “Is an orange the best thing for me to eat today?” (One asks if it’s beneficial, the other if it’s the best option available.)
• “Is an orange a good choice?” vs. “Is an orange the right choice?” (Good vs. right—small words, big difference.)

Because this isn’t confusing enough, let’s take this in another direction completely and add in the complexity of free will and definition and context:

• “Should I take this job?” → That’s YOUR decision. Guides won’t override your free will.
• “Is this relationship meant to last?” → There’s no single “right” answer. It depends on choices, actions, and alignment, and you’ll earn wisdom either way.
• “Am I making the right decision?” → There’s no universal “right.” Just different experiences based on what you choose.
• “Is this relationship good for me?”
  You mean: Will this person make me happy?
  Your guides might mean: This person will teach you important lessons—but that doesn’t mean it will be easy or enjoyable, and you may experience pain on the way to wisdom
• “Am I ready?”
  You mean: Will this be easy and successful right now?
  Your guides might mean: You are capable of handling this, but “ready” doesn’t mean “comfortable” and you may experience pain on the way to wisdom.
• “Is this the right decision?”
  You mean: Will this lead to the best possible outcome for my happiness and success?
  Your guides might mean: This choice will take you where you need to go—even if it’s not where you want to go, and you got it, you may experience pain on the way to wisdom.
• I can go on and on. The point here is to PRACTICE with your guides, learning from your answers, learning from your questions, always honing, figuring out their language limitations, your language limitations, and constantly refining. I would suggest at minimum asking 30 small questions a day. Best? 150+ questions a day. Always Be Asking.

If you get a yes or no to those kinds of questions, it’s because it’s the truth. It’s simple. The guides are answering the question as they defined it. They’re responding with the truth to the correct question as you framed it. 

That’s why follow-up questions matter to make sure you’re both coming from the same context of understanding (after all, you’re both from different dimensions) and have the same definitions to all of the words, and their grammatical placement in the question. This means, the question you’re posing to them could quite possibly be a different question than you believe you’re asking!

A Bigger Problem—Are You Even Asking the Right Guides?

Let’s say you simply throw out a question to “your spirit guides”  like:

• “Should I negotiate a raise with my boss?”

If the guides who show up are, say, your medical guides team, you’re in trouble. Why?

They don’t care about your career strategy. They care that the root cause of your repeated ileocecal valve constriction is due to the stress that a decision you’re worried about  is putting on your physical body (or whatever your current physical issue may be, this just so happened to be one of mine at one point!)

This is a very important reason why so many people think they get bad answers.

If you’re asking a career question, you need to pull in guides who understand business, leadership, and strategy.
If you’re asking a health and healing question, you need to pull in your medical and/or emotional support guides.
If you’re asking a spiritual awakening question, you need to pull in guides who specialize in expansion, not survival.

If you don’t call in the right team, you’re very possibly going to get a weak, if not completely unaligned answer.

The Peripheral Question Method—How to Actually Get Clarity

You CAN ask the big questions. You should ask the big questions.

But if you stop there, you’re only getting part of the answer.

The key is following up with the right peripheral yes/no questions.

Instead of:

• Simply asking: “Should I take this job?”
  Ask follow up questions that fill in the important information around the question or answer you get:
• “Would this job be in alignment with my highest growth?” (yes/no) 
• “Does this job match the energy I want to step into?” (yes/no)
• “Is there a major challenge I need to be aware of before accepting?” (yes/no)
• “Am I supposed to take the job now or wait until later?”
• “Is the job you’re giving me a ‘Yes’ to at this company, or a similar job title at another company?”

Instead of:

• Simply asking: “Is this the right person for me?”
  Follow up with peripheral things like:
• “Is this relationship currently in alignment with my highest good?” (yes/no)
• “Am I repeating an old pattern with this person?” (yes/no)
• “If I stay in this, am I expanding or shrinking?” (yes/no)

See the difference?

• Yes/no gives you a door to walk through.
• Yes/no peripheral questions give you the MAP to your complete understanding!

If you only ask a big yes/no question, you’re missing the details that may be very important to your final, free-will decision.
If you only ask open-ended questions, you’re getting too much unstructured information.

You need both.

Asking Open-Ended Questions for Signs and Synchronicities

If you’re working toward manifesting something specific—a dream house, a new opportunity, a major life shift, more wisdom and information about something—you can absolutely ask for guidance using open-ended questions and lean into the signs and synchronicities that follow.

You’ll find that you get all kinds of answers if you’re open to reading your signs.

• Sometimes, your guides will give you a direct response through a sudden feeling, knowing, or happening in life that hits you like a “ton of bricks.” This could feel good or not very good… but they’re both signs nonetheless.
• Other times, they’ll nudge you toward alignment instead of a concrete answer.
• And in many cases, the “answer” is something you have to experience, rather than receive free and outright.

Are unexpected opportunities opening up in ways you didn’t anticipate? Is a particular theme, message, or symbol showing up repeatedly? Are you feeling resistance or flow when you take certain actions? If so, you’re being asked to NOTICE.

Your job is to begin noticing life around you. To take your attention from your inner swirling “reality” and chaos, to the outside. What is nature telling you, synchronicities or “luck periods” you may be having? How about “bad luck” periods? What are they all saying to you? Only YOU will know these answers.

Instead of expecting a disembodied voice or a perfect psychic roadmap showing up, pay attention to how your external reality is shifting around you.

For example:

• If you’re manifesting a dream house, but every door keeps closing on a specific location—your guides might be redirecting you to something better.
• If you’re asking about a career change, and you suddenly meet three people in the same industry, it’s not random.
• If you’re wondering whether a relationship is right for you, and your body tenses every time you think about long-term commitment, that’s a sign—whether or not you want to acknowledge it.

Spirit guides don’t always give answers—they create shifts.

Your role is to be present enough to see where the energy is moving, rather than waiting for an answer to drop into your lap. Ask for guidance. Observe how life responds. And trust that if the path is truly aligned, momentum will follow. 

You can also absolutely, always trust that if your path isn’t aligned, you’ll be gathering wisdom (perhaps through pain) and you will know without a doubt where your future alignment lies. It’s actually all amazing, even if you feel you did something “wrong.”

The Takeaway: If Your Guide Communication Feels Messy, This Is Why

• Are you asking guides to make your decisions for you?
• Are you calling in guides who actually have aligned knowledge?
• Are you following up your yes/no with peripheral yes/no questions to get real clarity, with different perspectives, contexts and definitions?
• Did you think your “yes” should have been a “no” simply because you’re feeling discomfort while healing, growing, expanding from a painful experience you were “led into”?

Just because your communication feels or seems uncomfortable or even silent, it’s not because they’re not playing the game straight; it’s because you need to refine how you listen or ask in the first place.

Not Every ‘Sign’ is a Sign—Why Over-Reliance on Angel Numbers & Animal Totems is Holding You Back

At some point, most new spiritual seekers fall into “sign chasing.”

• Seeing 1111 on the clock? “OMG, it’s a message!”
• A hawk flew overhead? “That must mean something HUGE!”
• A song came on the radio with oddly specific lyrics? “It’s a direct message from Spirit!”

Now, let’s be real—sometimes these things ARE messages.

But here’s the problem:

• People start seeing EVERYTHING as a sign.
• They stop using discernment and just take every repeating number, animal sighting, or coincidence as gospel.
• They use “signs” as a way to spiritually bypass their own intuition and decision-making.

And that’s where things get messy.

Why Guides Don’t Speak in Signs as Often as You Think

I hate to break it to you, but just because you saw it doesn’t mean it means something.

• If you see an animal—congratulations, you saw an animal.
• If you notice a number on the clock—cool, your brain noticed something that happens twice a day, every day, like clockwork.
• If a song came on—sometimes… it’s just a song.

Here’s the thing: Spirit doesn’t need to be loud or in your face.

Your guides don’t need to send you flashy signs every five minutes to communicate.
They work in subtle nudges, deep knowing, and alignment.

And when they DO send a REAL sign? You’ll know.

Not because you saw 222 on a license plate, but because the message will hit you like a ton of bricks.

A Client’s “Hawk” Message—And How She Knew It Was Real

One of my clients had a deep, personal connection to hawks. I had no idea.

During a healing session, a hawk appeared in her journey as the animal to help her through her current situation. It carried a direct message for her that was deeply and beautifully tied to a specific issue she was working through.

She felt the message. It landed in a specific place in her heart, her gut, and her mind.

Later that day, while in a huge city where hawks don’t go, she stepped out of a meeting amongst highrises and saw a hawk sitting on a railing right in front of her.

Not just once,but EVERY time she stepped outside.

It sat there. Watching. Waiting.

And she just KNEW.

This wasn’t a random hawk sighting.
This was a message.

But here’s the key:

• The hawk wasn’t the message itself.
• The hawk was confirmation of a message she had ALREADY received.
• The hawk was an important part of the alignment and integration of her healing, not the whole answer.

That’s how real signs work.

They don’t just show up out of nowhere with no context.
They show up as an amplification of something already in motion.

Why Over-Reliance on Numbers & Animal Totems is Dangerous

If you’re constantly looking for signs, you might actually be avoiding your own intuition.

• You’re letting the external world tell you what’s true instead of trusting your gut.
• You’re using signs to confirm what you WANT to hear.
• You’re expecting the Universe to spoon-feed you answers instead of developing real discernment.

I once sat in a car with a woman who looked up every single number we passed on her phone. House numbers. License plates. Mile markers. Song numbers. Clock times. Evvverything… Every single one.

She was so obsessed with looking for messages then decoding them on the internet that she wasn’t even paying attention to her own thoughts, feelings, or guidance. 

That’s not spirituality. That’s spiritual bypassing disguised by distraction with spiritual “tools.”

The Truth About Spirit Animals in My Healings

Every week in The Healed Collective, I bring back a spirit animal for the integrations and learnings that came out of the week’s group healing.

But let’s get something straight:

• I do NOT run straight to the internet to find out what it means.
• I do NOT assign fixed meanings to certain animals.
• I do NOT believe a hawk always means one thing, or a bear means another. Again… context.

The animal that comes through isn’t about the species itself.
It’s about the energy, the message, and how it applies to the individual.

Now, sometimes I check other people’s thoughts on the internet, sure. But that’s after I do my own serious deep dive into what each part of the animal represents to me. From my own medicine as a healer. That’s what my clients are here for, and I pass the information to them, to learn from through their own internal “medicine.” And then we can go find some fun on the internet to go even deeper. But only as the last phase of the work.

For example, this week the animal that came through was a lion. The messages? Just words: Male. Huge. Quiet. Grounded. King. Proud.
No dictionary meaning. No preloaded interpretation.
Just raw energy and an invitation to embody that energy this week.

That’s real spirit animal work.

It’s not about memorizing meanings or other people’s interpretations.
It’s about FEELING into what’s actually coming through and trusting your initial interpretations.

If you’d like to experience a healing, sign up for The Healing Path Activation, my free, transformative healing and mini-course to release energetic blocks and realign with your true path. Unlock deep healing and spiritual clarity inside now!

How to Know If Something Is Actually a Sign

If you’re wondering whether something is a real sign or just your brain noticing patterns, ask yourself:

• Did this message come in a way that feels deeply aligned?
• Is it confirming something I’ve already been feeling?
• Does it feel neutral, or am I twisting it to mean what I want?
• Did I just think my way through a problem, or did this “answer” just pop into my head with no warning?

Real signs aren’t frantic, desperate, or overly analyzed.

They land. They confirm.
They don’t confuse.

If you’re confused? Do you feel compelled to go look it up? It probably wasn’t a sign. Unless it happens again. Then… it’s time to figure it out, and confusion my also be a sign! What might you be avoiding deep under the surface and allowing confusion to distract you from digging into the depths? Your spirit guides want you to go deeeeeep within, and their messaging is constructed to do just that.

The Takeaway: Your Guides Aren’t Playing a Number Game With You

• Not every number is a spiritual sign.
• Not every animal is a spirit guide message.
• If you’re simply chasing signs, you’re missing the real guidance, floating on airy woo-woo fluff, and avoiding the deep, sometimes painful, grounded work you must face while on a spiritual journey in this human lifetime you’ve been gifted. 

Your guides don’t need to shout at you with flashy symbols.
They’re already speaking through your intuition, energy, and direct guidance. Made specifically for YOU. 

Silence is an Answer—Why Your Spirit Guides Aren’t Ignoring You

One of the biggest frustrations people have with spirit guides is silence.

• You sit down, get quiet, and ask for guidance—nothing.
• You pull cards, use a pendulum, or journal—crickets.
• You get so desperate, you start asking for any sign—still, nothing.

At this point, most people assume:

• “I’m blocked.”
• “My guides have abandoned me.”
• “I’m not intuitive or worthy enough to hear them.”

But here’s the truth: silence is an answer.

Your guides aren’t ignoring you.
They’re telling you something important.

Why Silence from Your Guides Isn’t a Punishment

If you’ve ever thought, “My guides are ghosting me,” that’s not what’s happening.

Guides don’t punish, abandon, or disappear.

If you’re experiencing silence, it’s not because:

• You’re not worthy to have spirit guides.
• You’re not spiritual enough to hear your guides’ messages.
• You’re doing something wrong.

Silence is its own form of guidance.

Five Reasons Your Spirit Guides Might Be Silent (And What It Means)

1. You’re Asking a Question That’s Yours to Decide

Some questions are too big for guides to answer.
Not because they don’t care—but because it’s your decision, or you need to break it down farther in order to give you the answers in building blocks in order for you to make an aligned, informed decision for yourself..

• Should I move?
• Should I leave this relationship?
• Should I change careers?

These are your choices. Guides won’t override free will.

What to do instead:

• Instead of asking, “Should I?” ask:
  • “Is this aligned with my highest growth?”
  • “Would this path bring expansion or contraction?”
  • “Is there anything I need to be aware of before deciding?”
  • “Is this decision for the highest good of all?”

2. Your Emotional State is Too Clouded to Hear

If you’re in a heightened emotional state—fear, anxiety, desperation (it’s OK – we’ve all been there)—guides may step back until you calm TF down.

When you’re emotionally reactive:

• You’ll twist the message.
• You’ll hear what you want, not what’s actually being said.
• You’ll project your fears onto the guidance.
• You may subtly and accidentally ask the wrong questions.

What to do instead:

• Ground yourself before asking and remove any stories or emotions..
• Regulate your nervous system—breathe, walk, shake out the energy beforehand.
• Come back when you’re neutral and open, not desperate or forcing an answer.

3. Your Guides Already Gave You an Answer (And You’re Ignoring It)

Sometimes the silence isn’t because your guides aren’t speaking…
It’s because they already did, and you didn’t like the answer.

• They told you to slow down, but you kept pushing.
• They nudged you toward a choice, but you ignored it.
• They gave you the next step, but you wanted the whole plan.

What to do instead:

• Ask: “Did I already receive an answer I’m resisting?”
• Journal about what you already know but haven’t acted on.
• Accept that if you’re being nudged in a certain direction, it’s for a reason, even if it feels icky.
• Ask yourself (not your guides): “Do I already know the answer to this, deep down?”

4. You Need to Go Within First

Sometimes, guides go silent because you’re looking for external answers to an internal issue.

If your guides are suddenly quiet, ask yourself:

• What inner work am I avoiding?
• What am I scared to sit with?
• If I already had the answer, what would it be?

Guides won’t do your work for you.
They won’t spoon-feed what you need to uncover for yourself. That’s why we call it a spiritual journey.

What to do instead:

• Meditate—not to “hear” them, but to hear yourself.
• Clear space emotionally and mentally before expecting outside guidance.
• Ask, “If I pretend I already know the answer, what comes up?”

5. You’re Expecting a Loud Answer Instead of a Subtle One

Not all guidance comes as a dramatic, undeniable sign.

Most of the time, it’s:

• A quiet feeling.
• A shift in perspective.
• A subtle nudge in one direction.

If you’re waiting for booming voices, huge synchronicities, or a lightning-bolt moment, you might be missing the quiet, constant, loving guidance that’s already there.

What to do instead:

• Pay attention to gut instincts.
• Notice small shifts in awareness.
• Trust that your guides don’t need to be loud to be present.

Real Story: The Time My Guides Were Silent—And Why It Was Exactly What I Needed

I’ve been through phases where my guides wouldn’t say a thing.

One of the biggest moments? When I was in a deeply emotional, blocked space. One of my darkest ever.

I was going through many huge life transitions at once. I was underneath depression. No job. No family to speak of. Being a new mom – alone. So very alone. I wanted my guides to give me:

• A clear answer.
• A step-by-step plan.
• Something—anything—to hold onto.

But they didn’t. It was deafening radio silence.

At first, crying on the bedroom floor, I thought, “Why would they disappear when I need them most?“

Then, I realized: I wasn’t actually listening.

• I was desperate, emotional, and forcing it.
• I was living in the story, not removing the story to feel the pure emotion.
• I wanted certainty, not the hairy-scary truth.

I needed to go within, do some deep shadow work, before they would be able to be heard.

And once I did the internal work (yes, loads of it), the messages flowed again. The signs, the financial flow, the relationships, the family… all of it flowed again!

The silence wasn’t abandonment.
It was an invitation to clear my own energy first, allowing them back in.

How to Know If Silence Is Your Answer

If you’re getting nothing, ask yourself:

• Am I asking something that’s really only mine to decide?
• Am I emotionally neutral, or am I pushing for an answer?
• Have they already answered, and I’m just resisting it?
• Is this an opportunity to go within instead of looking outward?
• Am I expecting a loud message when the answer is actually subtle?

If you’re waiting for a dramatic, cinematic response—you might be missing the real message.

The Takeaway: Your Guides Aren’t Ignoring You—They’re Speaking in the Silence

• Silence is an answer.
• Guides don’t abandon you—but they will step back if you’re not in a safe space to hear.
• The question isn’t “Why won’t they answer?”—it’s “Am I listening in a way I can actually hear?”

If you feel like your guides are gone, they’re not.
They’re just waiting for you to meet them where they are.

Bringing It All Together—How to Build a Real Relationship with Your Spirit Guides

At this point, you’ve learned:

• How to recognize real guidance vs. projection
• Why guides give “wrong” answers on purpose
• How to ask the right questions so you actually get real answers
• What to do when your guides go silent

But none of this matters if you’re not building an ongoing relationship.

Spirit Guide Communication is a Practice—Not a One-Time Event

Most people think connecting with guides is something that just happens when you need it.
But like any relationship, it takes consistency. And PRACTICE!

If you only reach out when:

• You’re desperate for answers
• You’re in crisis mode
• You want a sign to appear instantly

Then you’re not actually working with your guides—you’re just using them for reassurance.

The most powerful way to work with your guides?
Treat them as friends and advisors, not emergency responders.

How to Build a Strong, Reliable Connection with Your Spirit Guides

If you want clear, steady guidance that actually helps you move forward, these are the three keys:

1. Daily Small Conversations—Not Just Big Life Questions

Your guides don’t want to be dumped into high-pressure situations where you’re suddenly expecting them to decide your future.

Instead, build daily, low-stakes interactions.

• Ask for guidance on small things:
  • “Should I drink more water today?” 
  • “Which book would support my growth right now?”
  • “Is today a good day to have that difficult conversation?”
  • “Which route should I take today for the fastest/safest/easiest drive?”
• Treat communication like a constant ongoing dialogue, not a crisis hotline.

The more you practice small asks, the easier it is to trust the big ones. And the more your guides will happily participate.

2. Listen Beyond Words—Recognizing How Guides Actually Speak

Most people assume messages from guides will come as:

• A booming voice
• A dream visitation
• A lightning-bolt moment of clarity

But real guidance is much more subtle.

Your guides might communicate through:

• A gut feeling that won’t go away
• Synchronicities and recurring themes in conversations, books, or signs
• Metaphors and symbols that appear unexpectedly

The key is to pay attention to shifts in awareness.

• Instead of saying, “My guides aren’t talking to me,” ask:
  “Am I expecting the message to come in a way that’s too obvious?”
• “What patterns and nudges have already been showing up?”

Guidance is always present—it’s whether or not you’re open to receiving it.

3. Take Action—Prove You’re Listening

If you ask your guides for an answer but never act on what they give you, they won’t keep sending a stream of strong messages. It’s a partnership; you have to show up by answering the stream of messages, and asking more questions.

Guides respond to movement.

• If they nudge you toward something, take a small step in that direction.
• If a synchronicity keeps repeating, acknowledge it and explore what it’s showing you.
• If they tell you to slow down, actually listen instead of pushing forward.
• If they give you a “yes,” do something about it immediately.

The faster and more often you act on what you receive, the stronger the communication gets, until you’ve practiced enough that you can have actual conversations. Now, that’s taken me years of asking over 200 questions a day, practicing, practicing, and practicing, but it’s paid off in innumerable ways, the least of which sharpening my intuition and receiving lightning-fast, correct answers from my spirit guides. Sometimes, I don’t even need to ask now. The flow of information is just… connected.

Guides don’t waste time shouting the same message over and over.
They wait for you to listen. Or, if it’s extremely important for the health of your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual being, they could do more – if you continually don’t do what they’re telling you to, they will MAKE it happen. Through drastic, and sometimes exceedingly painful circumstances. 

Final Takeaway: Spirit Guide Communication is a Two-Way Street

• Your guides are always there. Always communicating.Yet the communication becomes thin when you aren’t responding.
• Are you listening in a way you can actually hear?
• Strong guidance doesn’t come from asking once and hoping for a sign—it comes from consistent, intentional connection.
• If you want to build a rock-solid relationship with your guides, start treating them like real partners in your life—not just mystical backup when things get hard.

Ready to Strengthen Your Spirit Guide Connection?

If you want:

• A stronger, clearer connection with your guides
• To remove the interference that blocks real guidance
• To ask better questions and get real answers

Then The I AM Method is where I teach this in-depth.