Since the dawn of 2020, we’ve collectively endured a whirlwind of experiences that have forever changed our lives and perspectives. Through all the challenges and transformations, I’ve gained profound spiritual insights that continue to guide my journey toward inner healing and becoming a better coach. In this blog post, I’ll share the key lessons I’ve learned year by year and how they might resonate with your own experiences. Let’s start with how I receive my information: my Spirit Guides.

Spirit Guide Communication

We all receive information from our guides, our higher self, the Universe, Source, God, Jesus, Angels, Ascended Masters, Ancestors, Spirit Animals, and/or anything else we’re connected with out there whether we realize it or not. The trick is recognizing when and how we’re receiving it.

For me, it’s knowledge dropped into my consciousness with no thinking involved. I could be driving down the road playing pretend Elsa games with my 4-year-old, and suddenly, I understand aspects of my whole life because a past life role and/or person I shared a soul with is presented to me. I could be sweeping the floor thinking of my grocery list when a limiting belief pops up and explains why I’ve been unable to move forward in my business. It could be anything at any time.

The two keys here are that 1) I hold no expectations about how the information or my guides will present themselves, and 2) I’m neither asking for nor trying to figure out the answers I’m being given. Even though I have a powerful gift of vision, my guides usually don’t physically show themselves to me, and information they have for me appears when I least want it: lessons and other feelings, emotions, or icky nostalgic memories from someone else’s eyes flood into my memory bank. It’s not fun for me, even though the information will probably be helpful.

Connecting With Spirit Guides: First, Become Aware

For the client asking how to connect with spirit guides, I first mention that it has to become a habit. This means constantly reviewing your thoughts to determine whether your brain churned them out or if they were dropped in from someone or somewhere else. Did your conscious mind create that thought through analyzing a situation, or were you given the thought, and then your conscious mind took over and began analyzing afterward? This means practice… All. The. Time.

This habit of touching base with your thoughts isn’t only good for realizing significant spirit communication; it’ll also help you dismantle your monkey mind and take back the power of thought if you struggle with depression, anxiety, or the inability to quiet your mind. Another side effect is helping you begin a life of manifestation and grow into your power and purpose.

Connecting With Spirit Guides: Second, Trust and Believe

The second piece of the puzzle is trusting that the information is correct. Sometimes, I struggle with this, especially if I’m presented with “important” information from past lives or limiting beliefs that seem unfixable. Yet, information is neutral, fame in past lives is neutral, and all of our beliefs that either support us or not are neutral. It’s what we do with them that matters.

Connecting With Spirit Guides: Third, Communicate Back!

Having a way to ask questions to move forward with the learnings and wisdom from these messages is critical. For me, I have a rational and immediate way to receive answers to my clarifying questions that anyone can learn, practice, and become a habit on a daily (or minute-by-minute, as I sometimes use it) basis. I’m not covering that in this blog post, although I welcome you to join my group, The Oracle Within, to access my conscious Spirit Guide communication course. There, you’ll also find like-minded people on the path just like you are, and I’m there to answer your questions.

So, what have they given me in the past few years? Well, LOTS. However, I’ve had some overarching themes in the years that have been lessons I’ve struggled with, and on the other side, I see the absolute GOLD. Let’s go.

2020: The Healer’s Curse – The Ethics of Expectation

The onset of 2020 felt like being thrust into a storm of uncertainty. With birthing a new baby came the onset of a beast of postpartum depression. We moved 6 hours away to a (new-to-us) crumbling 6-bedroom Victorian home and are selling the old. Daily routines crumbled with the world shutting down, toilet paper was nowhere to be found, and chaos appeared everywhere. One of the worst parts for me was moving away without getting to hug my ailing parents goodbye. I had to introduce them to my daughter through a window and then give a final wave, turning my back on them and not knowing if I’d ever see them again. It was a miserable, foreshadowing moment like the first dark domino being pushed over in a line of painful events to come for the next four years.

During 2020, I spent many hours talking to my Mom on the phone. She was struggling with an excruciating illness that wasn’t taking to any medication. She couldn’t go downstairs and had to rely on my aging Dad to bring her food. When he got sick and paramedics took him to the hospital, things got dire.

In the background, I tried every spiritual, metaphysical, energetic, and holistic option for her. I was forcing the healing because the pain of potentially losing her was too intense for me to handle. I had years of master energy healing training and practice behind me. I had pre-med classes behind me. I had been in the sustainable and alternative (healthy) food business for years. I knew the best holistic doctors in San Francisco. I had to have the answers somewhere. Being her Savior became my purpose (and a beautiful coping and escapism mechanism for avoiding other pain in life… more on that in the upcoming years). My expectation was that I could help and would find the answers, and she would be OK.

The thing was, she didn’t have the energy to be “saved.” She didn’t want to be bothered. She was in too much pain and focusing on numbing her mind from it all to care.

I was up against the belief that I had to access something to save her, yet she didn’t want it. My lesson hit me one day –

I can’t heal other people. They have to heal themselves. Healers open the doors and prepare the way for those who want to change.

All advanced energy healers know this. Healers clear the path; they lead the wounded to their path, they can hold a hand on the path, and they can even reach down into someone’s darkness to help them into the light. Clarity, mindset, some energy removal and replacement, big and small miracles… it’s all part of a healer’s toolbox, and these tools work better than Western Medicine (if you ask me). However, the juice comes from the client doing the work on their side, whether they know it or not. They must want to grab the healer’s hand and be able and willing to do something about it.

My problem stemmed from my expectations. I was putting hope and drive onto someone who didn’t want to deal with it. I was tying her to my desperation and fear. So naturally, who would be hurt in this situation? Nobody but me.

My mom wasn’t mentally interested in healing modalities or therapies anymore, so I had to stop. Every cell in my body, every neuron, screamed that I could find the answer. That if she passed from this illness, it would somehow be my fault. Yet the opposite was true – my forced modalities hurt her. I had to them down and walk away.

It was one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever been given.

Yet, to this day, it has helped me in numerous ways. For instance, I’ve saved so much physical and emotional energy since I stopped pushing healing onto people. My mind doesn’t immediately go into savior mode; I wait, holding beautiful space for the beautiful people in my life and future clients I have or haven’t met yet. They must consent, and while I wait, I’m honoring them and myself in the sacred space of healing. The shift has been highly freeing and stabilizing, and I’m always open to those awaiting energetic help.

2021: Honey, It’s Just Not Your Business.

Lockdowns dragged on, and the energy of 2020 just multiplied, with no end in sight. Daily patterns formed around this bizarre “new normal,” yet misery flooded the house. My postpartum journey was a challenging new reality that wasn’t shaking loose. Worst of all, the dynamics of my relationship had dwindled to nothing – even a feeling of dread when he came home from work and I could feel his car coming up the driveway. No doubt about it, for both of us, our relationship had run its course.

As he broke up with me one day at our kitchen table, I sat in shock, the silence and stillness of the world that had just stopped short around me. In that magical moment before the emotional storm hit, I had a choice. What would my intention be with this man? With our family? I immediately knew I had to heal the pain, anger, resentment, fear, loneliness, and everything else that came out of this dissolution. In that quiet, peaceful moment of shock, when the world was still, I decided our family would reunite for our daughter. She wouldn’t know hate between her parents.

I asked him – is there someone else? And the answer was yes.

I couldn’t do anything but retreat into my mind as my world fell apart. I watched in earnest as I started noting the pile of things I needed to heal from begin to bury me, my emotions not catching up.

I started walking during the day—5 miles, 10 miles—it was stroller time for me and my baby. I needed fresh air. My frail postpartum body (did I mention that two weeks after birth, I had lost so much weight from stress that I looked like a skeleton from stress?) couldn’t keep up, but I had to get out of there. Mother Nature called. My church was outside.

The first realization I had—thank you, Spirit Guides—was not to dwell on his current happiness, the changes he was making to support his life goals, or the new wife upgrade. “Honey, that’s just not your business!” they told me.

It eased my mind once I realized his choices had nothing to do with me. Even though I was processing low emotions, I had my prayers answered. And now, there was complete freedom in knowing that what he was thinking, doing, and saying wasn’t my business; I could easily get going with my healing. It was just business now, after all.

I had an intention to master, and I f*cking did. A year and a half after our break up, I happily rejoined the new family with a healed friendship with my ex and his new wife. And I genuinely do love them.

The phrase “it isn’t my business” was everywhere, though – this was just the example of the most painful area it existed before I surrendered to it. I live in a small town and had to go through many hairdressers before I found one who didn’t care to gossip. “Honey, it isn’t your business.” I had to make general conversation short when other people came up… “Honey, it isn’t your business.” honestly, it’s come down to having a joking and loving demeanor when someone verbally crosses into an area where I don’t feel comfortable. I say my Guide’s words out loud in conversation: “Honey, it isn’t our business!” (Doing it with a twinkle in your eye and love in your voice is the magic medicine that makes this powerful!)

I have to say, this phrase shocks people. We have yet to learn what our business is and what isn’t. My mom’s healing journey wasn’t my business, and my ex’s new life wasn’t my business. Nothing is until the person lets you in. Period. News on TV. Neighbors’ comings and goings. Thoughts about other people and trying to work out their actions or words.

Note: This is one of the most complex pieces of this lesson: When someone thinks about you negatively or blames you for something. Honey, it’s just not your business. Their thoughts are theirs, period. You can’t change them. You can change them by owning your thoughts and actions, being a higher-vibing being, and not giving a $*&@ for their thoughts. If they’re your friends, drop them. If they’re trolls on the internet, drop them. The minute you drop the belief that you can change their mind, allowing them to steep in their negative feelings instead of both of you, it’s incredibly freeing and healing.

This is a vital lesson if you are bothered by how others think or act. How they feel or think about you, their religion, political leanings, and beliefs around everything else isn’t your business. The way they act or talk about you isn’t your business. How you feel, think, act, and talk about yourself (and that other person) IS your business. What is your intention around the situation? Do you want to heal from it or sit in the cesspool of sludge, anger, and resentment for the rest of your life? Heal from the inside out. How is their behavior mirroring what’s happening with your self-talk, self-love, or contrived belief and values systems?

This is one of the foundational aspects of mental and emotional healing: perception is projection – so without, so within. What we perceive on the outside (everything!) is a message from our guides about the health of our emotional and mental “bodies.” If something, someone, or a situation is irritating, it’s your invitation to go within and do some inner work. You wouldn’t be seeing it on the outside if it weren’t ready to be healed on the inside.

Honey, it’s just not your business. Free yourself into your Truth.

2022: Surrender – The Path to Self-Love

Surrendering control—what a profound lesson to learn! Initially, I struggled with the notion of letting go. How can one heal if they’re not in charge?

As 2022 unfolded, and I became my (rather ornery) dying uncle’s caretaker, I was (again) selling my home, moving into his (black widows and mice as roomies, well water that kept making us sick, no septic system – the only toilet was up the hill with a moon-shaped window in the door – and decades of dirt piled inches-high in the corners.) My grandpa built the cute little farmhouse, and my Uncle had let it fall into disaster.

We moved into the house during the worst storms in our region’s recent history, so the movers couldn’t drive my stuff to the barn to store it – it was all piled on top of my uncle’s stuff. At least they built hoarder-like crawl spaces between the boxes so my 2-year-old and I could meander through. On moving day, I had RSV, pneumonia, and two other tough bugs, and I was too worn out even to want to cry. We lived in the motel in town for 4 days until I had enough steam (and had cleaned enough) to sleep in the mess.

I discovered that surrendering does not mean giving up; for me, it means slowing down. I was coming from a work environment that was so toxic – workaholic anonymous anyone? – I instinctively felt that I wasn’t worth living in my skin if I wasn’t working my fingers to the bone night and day. I wasn’t worth having a lovely house. Here is where the sickness was my savior – it made me slow down. I had to give in to it to get better for my daughter. I had to go to bed and sleep to get my feet under me again. I had to give in to my own body’s needs.

I was also working on opening my spiritual coaching business, so balancing working on that was tricky as I untangled four houses and 6 decades’ worth of stuff piled into our little living room and back bedroom. The fact that I needed to take time off from the business was in my face and at odds with my limiting belief that hard work makes wealth – I had to stop everything and begin taking one box at a time, one space at a time, and unwinding it into dumpster after dumpster, or new box that I’d hand-carry to the barn to store. It was slow work, but it added up. I surrendered to the enormous pile – and myself – and offered my meager energy.

Through this, I grieved and found righteous anger, deep sadness, loneliness, and a friendship with myself. I let many things go, especially perfection. Living paradoxically in this household allowed me to be authentic instead of perfectionistic. It surrounded me. I found my authenticity. Or rather, it found me. Punching me in the face until I surrendered to it and allowed it in.

This looked like not caring about the fresh spiderwebs because getting a working wood stove was a priority. If I didn’t put makeup on that day, it was because my daughter needed more snuggles that morning. My dog didn’t get a bath because I needed one. Perfectionism took a solid last place in line behind my authenticity, my needs, my self-love, and my daughter. And it’s still there—it always will be.

In moments of surrender, I found liberation. I let go of the need to micromanage every aspect of my life, allowing grace to flow in. My expectations became less rigid, and I learned to trust the timing of my journey. Embracing this flow was surprisingly freeing, enabling unexpected opportunities to emerge. By surrendering my will, I found myself more attuned to the rhythms of life, which in turn fostered more profound inner healing.

2023: Self-Compassion and the VOID

In 2023, I entered the Void, a shamanic space where you feel ungrounded, untethered, unmotivated, and unreal. The experience was both perplexing and enlightening, pushing me to explore the depths of my psyche and confront the shadows that lingered beneath the surface. Every feeling I had in this space became amplified, leaving me to navigate through a swirling storm of emotions.

At first, I felt lost. I questioned everything—from my purpose to my relationships. It was as if I had stepped into a fog where nothing seemed clear, and all the things I had once relied upon for stability began to fade away. The foundation of my identity felt fragile, and I grappled with a sense of purposelessness.

But as time passed in this void, I began to understand that this disorientation was not merely a challenge to endure but an opportunity for profound inner healing. It became a time for reflection and exploration. In the stillness, I learned to listen to my thoughts without judgment. I learned to embrace the discomfort and accept that it was part of my journey. Again, I surrendered. I instinctively felt that the faster I surrendered, the quicker I’d move through.

Through this process, I found self-compassion. I started recognizing that feeling confused was okay, not having all the answers, and simply sitting with my feelings and embracing this state of being allowed me to peel away layers of fear and self-doubt. It gave me the space to acknowledge what I truly desired moving forward. I discovered that sometimes, stepping back and grounding ourselves in the void can be the most meaningful way to find clarity.

As I navigated through the uncharted waters of my mind, I began to feel flickers of inspiration. Ideas emerged from the depths, igniting a sense of hope within me. I realized that the void was not just a cessation but a fertile ground for new beginnings. It allowed me to rekindle the connections to my spirit guides—to tap into their wisdom and guidance when I felt uncertain. They offered me a business in co-creation—harmony, beauty, and non-judgment.

In essence, 2023 was about learning to trust the process of life, accepting uncertainty, and understanding that the potential for rebirth lies within the chaos. It was a chapter of growth that emphasized the importance of inner healing and self-discovery. As it turned out, one of the gifts I was given at the end of 2023 was being in a state of such inner healing. I made a vibrational match to my perfect life partner, one who has done “the work” as I had, and was mentally and emotionally healthy and comes to problems just like I do, with our Spirit Guides, light-work, shadow work, and a small dose of reality. Suddenly, one day, he fell into my life, and we began a magical relationship that still shocks me to this day.

As I move forward, I carry the lessons learned in the void as a guiding light toward my future, embracing each moment with newfound strength and resilience.

2024: Clean House!

2024 marked the official moment I brought the first clients into the business I had been building and co-creating with my spirit partners for four years. It was terrifying, but I tiptoed into my power and voice, finally overcoming fears that had kept me small. Spirit gives me this business and a to-do list, and I answer with resounding boots on the ground. Or try.

We have weekly healings, during which I channel information from Clients’ guides, my guides, and other divine beings who support us during the week. During one in mid-summer, I had a channeling I now refer to as the “house of cards.” Spirit gave me the vision of a tall, precarious, and fragile card house. She waved her hand above it, and the house came tumbling down – except for a few foundational cards.

“These represent everything you’re stressed about in your modern life. The cards that fell around you are insignificant – you’re spending too much mental and emotional energy on them. Gather them, and hand them to us. We will take care of them and hand them back to you at the appropriate time, healed and easily able to glean information. Those left standing are the only “cards” that matter to you. They represent one or two foundational actions in your life that matter. What are yours representing? If you engage in these alone, everything else in life will fall in place.”

I’m paraphrasing the voice and vision, but this astounded me. I could take the tasks and emotional heaviness of the day, wrap them up in a bow, and hand them up to Spirit. It’s that easy, I thought. So, I started doing just that.

When mentally crunching on something, I stop, imagine putting it in a little box, tying it with a bow, handing it to Spirit, moving on with my day, and knowing it will be resolved in the highest form possible.

And what are the foundational “cards” for me? I asked my guides, and they returned the phrase “Clean House.”

The physical mess of 2023 had yet to resolve completely, even though I’d filled a dumpster weekly, fixed the well, gotten septic, and had a complete bathroom remodel, new floors, and a new wood stove. So, I rationally thought, I still need to clean. So I did. I took a week off and cleaned the house more. And more. The more I cleaned house, the more I considered parts of life, goals I have, friendships or lack thereof, and everything your mind does when you’re physically at work.

The magic happened when I realized the phrase “clean house” didn’t only mean the actual house – which was excellent – the energy flows in all areas of my life if the house is completely organized and as minimal as I can get it. They meant clean house in all aspects – right the wrongs in life, set boundaries and begin maintaining them, open my voice to those I care about and ask for help or tell them more about the authentic Me I’m discovering, and DIG IN, dumpsterizing anything I no longer needed in all areas. Wow! This was true transformation!

2024 has been marked by a physically and energetically clean “house.” As I continue this journey, I carry forward the knowledge that cleaning house is not just about tidying my living space; it’s also about decluttering my mind and heart. By prioritizing what truly matters and letting go of what doesn’t serve me, I create space for new opportunities, connections, and love to flourish.

Until I reach a state of true mental cleanliness, this lesson will override many others. After all, they told me it’s the only thing I need to do for my whole life to fall into place. I believe them, and I intend to answer their call.

What is your main card left standing? The one that will open the doors to your destiny?

Looking Back

Reflecting on these transformative years, I realize how much I’ve grown through each lesson and challenge. Every experience has taught me the importance of inner healing—not just for me but for everyone around me. The lessons from my Spirit Guides have shown me that healing is an individual journey that we must undertake willingly. Whether it’s the painful acceptance that I can’t save others, the freedom in recognizing what’s not my business, or the power of surrendering control, these insights have fundamentally shaped who I am today. No doubt they will continue to for the rest of my life.

Remember, it’s a journey, not a destination, and every step counts. Embrace the process, trust the unfolding, and know that you have the power to create the life you desire.

Join Us

If you’re curious about learning more about your spirit guides or how to receive these channeled healings, please consider joining us in my network. The weekly healings are always mind-blowing; we discuss and integrate how the healings are working within us in-depth and have become a support system during the spiritual journey that is strong and undeniable. You also get a library of resources at your fingertips that grows as the healings do; meditations, courses, challenges, and activations are all part of the memberships!

We would love to see you there!