What if I told you that a very simple daily exercise, taking only 5 minutes or less, could make you 25% happier, improve your sleep by at least 10%, and boost your immune function by at least 7%? And it’s FREE? (I’m actually surprised by these numbers too!)

Let’s step back a second so you can understand my drive to write this post:

In 2021 when my daughter was 13 months old, I was saturated with post-partum depression and emotionally and mentally exhausted from “the Covid years.” Two days before she was to undergo two simultaneous surgeries, my then-husband told me he was leaving the marriage for someone new. It felt as if someone had taken a giant ice cream scoop to my heart and relieved me of anything that could have kept me standing, let alone breathing. Yet, I made my way through. I leaned heavily into all I had… and I didn’t have much. I went back to the basics of my spiritual training to pull me through mentally, emotionally, and spiritually starting with one tiny trick.

It worked—and it was the. basis of healing into once again loving my ex, his new wife, and my shiny new life unconditionally. Yes, it required work—I’m not one to plaster positivity overt will all work out. Stick with me here as we uncover positive and healed positivity through gratitude practices.

Gratitude

Welcome to the world of Gratitude. Yes, we’ve all seen the funny spiritual memes of positive people, and I’m definitely not overreaching into the realm of toxic positivity by way of spiritual bypassing. I’m talking about simple gratitude and making a daily habit of recognizing what you’re grateful for. Even when life throws a truckful of lemons across your path. In my years of experience with these lemon explosions, I’ve come to rely on gratitude practices and create my own out of desperate necessity when I’m treading water in a deep pool of sour juice. Hear me out – gratitude practices work.

In this post, I’ll go over some ways you can incorporate gratitude in your life no matter where you are on the emotional and well-being scale.  (make sure to read the whole article for my magic trick when you just don’t have energy or gratitude in you.) Let’s look at how gratitude impacts your four bodies and relationships, then begin exploring how you can easily bring this easy habit into your life.

Physical Effects of a Gratitude Practice

There is a lot of research out there around gratitude, so I’ll summarize some of it here for you. We tend not to realize that simple gratitude can change us at the physical level, but it has a very big impact. Let’s explore.

• Research has shown that grateful people tend to have lower blood pressure and a stronger immune system. This might be due to the fact that gratitude reduces stress, a major factor that can compromise your health. Less stress means a lower risk of various stress-related ailments such as heart disease and stroke.
• Gratitude often supports better sleep. Reflecting on what you are thankful for before going to bed can quiet a restless mind, making it easier to drift peacefully away into rest. Better sleep is associated with a host of positive health outcomes, such as improved mood, sharper cognitive function, and even a boosted immune response.
• Studies have suggested that gratitude can also lead to healthier lifestyle choices. Feeling thankful may encourage you to nourish your body with nutritious foods, engage in regular exercise, and avoid harmful habits like smoking or excessive drinking. Essentially, gratitude could be a cornerstone of a holistic approach to well-being, influencing you to take care of your body more actively.
• Experiencing and expressing gratitude can reduce your perception of pain. When you focus on the positive, you might find that you are less preoccupied with physical discomfort, making it easier to manage chronic conditions. 

The Impact of Gratitude on Mental and Emotional Health

The biggest shift that cascades into so many other positive changes from practicing gratitude is reducing stress in your life, as it helps you see challenges more positively. In other words, living with less stress allows you to view this truck of lemons from a lens of creativity, acceptance, and (in advanced situations) excitement for the positive changes about to happen in your life! Who wouldn’t love to experience the biggest lemon bar in the world? Or fresh lemon custard? C’mon. Sign me up. I already have my spoon in hand.

If you’re not yet living and seeing from the healed ultra-optimistic lens, here are other ways this practice will benefit you:

Improved Well-being: Numerous studies highlight that gratitude contributes to enhanced well-being. People who regularly express gratitude report feeling happier and more satisfied with their lives. This is because being grateful shifts your attention to what you have rather than what you lack, creating a sense of abundance and contentment. 

Reduced Stress: Gratitude is a powerful tool for stress management. When you acknowledge and appreciate the positives, your brain shifts from a state of anxiety to one of calm and relaxation. This biological response can lower cortisol levels, helping you manage stress more effectively. 

A Boost in Mood: Practicing gratitude generates a boost in mood by increasing levels of dopamine and serotonin, the “feel good” chemicals in the brain. By focusing on the positive aspects of your life, you naturally uplift your spirit and foster a more optimistic outlook. 

Enhanced Emotional Resilience: Developing an attitude of gratitude strengthens your emotional resilience. When you face challenges, being grateful helps you maintain a positive outlook, while integrating the lessons you’re learning through this process. This resilience comes from recognizing that even in difficult times, there is much wisdom to attain from the decisions you make and outcomes you experience through the process. Ultimately, you’re experiencing this for the best good of “future you,” as sometimes this lemon truck is there to get you back on track to your most aligned and purposeful life. Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back, it’s about floating on the lemon juice and finding new perspectives, then turning it into lavender-verbena lemonade.

The Science Behind Gratitude and Spiritual Well-Being

Gratitude, as simple as it sounds, profoundly impacts our spiritual well-being. It’s a practice deeply rooted in ancient wisdom and modern science. Positive psychology, a branch of psychology that focuses on what makes life most worth living, has extensively studied the effects of gratitude. 

“Gratitude works because it amplifies the good in our lives. The more we focus on what we’re grateful for, the more we see those positives spread around us.” 

Dr. Robert Emmons

But how exactly does gratitude work its magic? Neuroscientific research reveals that expressing gratitude can activate regions in the brain associated with dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. This boost in dopamine can foster a sense of joy and fulfillment, enhancing one’s overall spiritual state. 

Additionally, gratitude helps shift our focus from what’s lacking in our lives to the abundance we already possess. This shift elevates our mood and fosters a deeper sense of connection and meaning, integral components of spiritual well-being. 

Gratitude isn’t just about saying “thank you” but truly acknowledging and appreciating the big and small blessings that life presents. In this way, all of your energy, from every angle, is positively affected.

Healthy Positivity vs Toxic Positivity

While practicing gratitude is immensely beneficial, it’s crucial to differentiate between healthy positivity and toxic positivity. Healthy positivity acknowledges life’s challenges and allows space for genuine emotions while still striving to focus on the positive aspects. On the other hand, toxic positivity involves ignoring or dismissing negative emotions, which can lead to emotional repression and a sense of isolation. This is also called spiritual bypassing.

Embracing healthy positivity means you give yourself permission to feel all your emotions fully. It’s about finding a balance—acknowledging your difficulties while appreciating the good things in your life. This approach can foster resilience, providing you with the emotional flexibility to navigate life’s ups and downs more effectively. Gratitude plays a pivotal role in this balance, helping anchor you in the present moment and cultivating a sense of optimism. 

While building your gratitude toolbox and daily habits, it’s essential to remember to remain authentic. Rather than forcing yourself to feel grateful, genuinely identify the things that bring you joy, comfort, or a sense of peace and feel deeply into the gratitude and the WHY behind your gratitude. This authenticity can help you avoid the pitfalls of toxic positivity and encourage a more profound, heartfelt connection to your gratitude. 

Dr. Laurie Santos, a Yale psychologist, emphasizes that recognizing and appreciating the positives, even amidst hardship, can lead to a more resilient and well-rounded well-being. This balance enriches your spiritual health and fortifies your mental and emotional resilience, enabling you to thrive despite your new (rather large) lemon collection.

How Gratitude Can Manifest Profound Life Changes

Imagine waking up each morning and intentionally thinking about three things you are grateful for. This simple act, done regularly, can start to transform your outlook on life. Shifting your perspective involves seeing the world through a lens of appreciation, where challenges are opportunities and setbacks are lessons. This is where gratitude becomes a powerful tool for mental reconditioning. 

When you focus on gratitude, you train your brain to look for the good in every situation. Instead of dwelling on what’s missing or going wrong, you begin to notice what’s present and going right. This mindset fosters a sense of abundance, where you feel rich in experiences, relationships, and possibilities, whilst letting the lack in your life have less meaning and weight. 

Consider the ripple effect of this practice. As you cultivate gratitude, you may become more patient, compassionate, and forgiving of yourself and others. You start to see the interconnectedness of life—the way that kindness begets kindness and appreciation fosters joy, all leading to a powerful love of self. The beauty of gratitude is that it doesn’t just benefit you; it also positively influences those around you, creating a cycle of positive energy. 

Gratitude and Its Influence on Relationships

Gratitude can act as a transformative force within your relationships, infusing them with positivity and deepening your connections. When you express gratitude towards others, it not only makes them feel appreciated but also fosters a sense of goodwill and mutual respect. This simple practice can cultivate an environment where everyone feels valued and understood, ultimately strengthening your bonds. In fact, gratitude can increase relationship satisfaction by 20%.

Daily Gratitude Practice in Relationships: 

• Verbal Acknowledgment: Telling your partner, family member, or friend specifically what you appreciate about them can make a significant difference. A heartfelt “thank you” can go a long way.
• Written Expressions: Consider writing a gratitude letter or note. This can be a powerful way to convey your feelings and can become a cherished keepsake for the recipient.
• Acts of Kindness: Performing small acts of kindness to show appreciation can reinforce your feelings of gratitude. This could be as simple as making a favorite meal or helping with a task.
• Understand how your partner best receives gratitude and positive energy from you. Explore how they use their senses with learning – are they visual – do they like to see gratitude, maybe through the form of flowers or a letter? Are they auditory – do they like to hear you say specific things you’re grateful for? Are they kinesthenic – meaning, do they respond more to hugs and foot rubs? Dig in and see what helps them deeply integrate your gratefulness. If they’re not used to the positivity, open conversation around increasing gratitude in the relationship and see what works best for both of you.

If you struggle with pinpointing things you’re grateful for in a relationship, consider these questions:

• What are three things your partner did this week that you are thankful for? They most definitely can be small things.
• Recall a memorable moment with them. Why are you grateful for that experience?
• Write about a recent challenge in your relationship and how gratitude helped you overcome it together.

Incorporating these gratitude practices into your daily routine can help build a stronger, more positive, and interconnected relationship with those around you. By focusing on what you appreciate, you shift your perspective from what’s missing to what is abundantly present in your life, and in turn, you attract more of it. See what works for both of you and incorporate it. Hold no expectations around the practice, yet be excited for positive changes!

Your Gratitude Toolbox

Every day is filled with countless moments that we often overlook in the hustle and bustle of modern life. By turning these moments into opportunities for gratitude, you can cultivate a deeper sense of appreciation and an enhanced connection to your spiritual well-being.

Practicing different exercises that you can habitualize in your daily life will build a metaphorical toolbox for you to access at any given moment. Of course, the key word is practice: once your aforementioned neurotransmitters are used to you dowsing your body in dopamine, it becomes easier and easier. Let’s go over some exercises you can incorporate – and be sure to read to the end to catch the secret sauce to my gratitude when I can’t muster energy to do any of these:

• Gratitude Anchor: When you’re feeling particularly grateful, positive, and happy, anchor it into your physicality. Do this by pressing an index finger to its partnering thumb for a few minutes, feeling the pressure, and imagining all the gratitude going into it. When you need a boost of positivity, just return to this hand position and it will bring you back. The more you practice putting the joy into this anchor, the better it will work when you need it. For me, it’s an exceptional tool to use when I’m around people; they really don’t notice when I’m using this. Hint: You can use this for all sorts of feelings you want to anchor – confidence, protection, power, self-love, etc. Just use slightly different hand or body positions for each anchor.
• The Beauty in All That Is: Practicing “beauty” (or finding beauty) is integral to my daily work. I’m not talking about the beauty of YouTube bloggers here. It’s finding the silver lining to everything, even in the “ugly” of life. It creates balance and strength of mind when we are dipped into an uncomfortable situation.
• Gratitude Journal: Write down three things you’re grateful for each day. Reflect on why they matter to you. Keep your journal by your bedside to do this reflection right before bed to positively impact your stress and night’s sleep. Whether it’s the sun shining through your window, a heartfelt conversation with a friend, or simply the comfort of your morning coffee, acknowledging these positive moments can profoundly impact your overall mood and outlook. You can ask yourself: What was the best part of your day? Who made a difference to you today and how? What is one thing you love about your current home? Recall a time when you overcame a challenge. What helped you through it?
• Gratitude Letter and Thank You Notes: Write a letter to someone who has positively impacted your life. Even if you don’t send it, the act of writing can foster gratitude.  Sending weekly thank-you notes or messages to friends and family expressing appreciation for them fosters gratefulness in you and those you send them to. Making this a family activity is a great way to include kids and instill a gratitude practice from a young age.
• Morning Gratitude Ritual: Start your day by mentally listing things you’re grateful for as soon as you wake up, when you’re in the shower or making coffee. You can multi-task your gratitude!
• Gratitude Meditation: Spend a few minutes meditating on the things you’re thankful for, focusing on the feeling of gratitude in your heart.
• Gratitude Walk: Take a walk and mentally note everything around you that you appreciate, from nature to the fresh air. If you have a difficult situation, mentally take this situation with you on your walk. On your way out, think into the situation and why it’s bringing you pain. Keep asking why to the answers to figure out what limiting belief or past wound is bothering you. On the way back, let it go. Give it to your guides, your angels, your higher self, or God to process and return to you with wisdom and answers.
• Gratitude Jar: Write down things you’re grateful for on slips of paper and place them in a jar. Review them when you need a positivity boost. When you’re writing these, be in a positive mindframe. Perhaps listen to a favorite podcast on manifestation, or immerse yourself in music that elevates your heart. When you write these down, you’ll be infusing the paper with your feelings and they will flood back when you read them.
• Gratitude Visualization: Visualize a moment in your life that you’re deeply grateful for, reliving the experience and the emotions it brought. This is especially profound if you’re a specific manifestor vs a non-specific manifestor (i.e., visulizations work better than feeling into what you’re bringing to yourself.)
• Gratitude Sharing: At dinner or during family time, share something you’re grateful for with your loved ones. This doesn’t have to be just at Thanksgiving. Write down some questions you can start conversations with so the practice doesn’t get dull, or create a gamified version to keep it fun and manifest more positivity!
• Gratitude Affirmations: Create and repeat affirmations focused on gratitude, such as “I am grateful for the abundance in my life.” Be cautious however – affirmations without feelings will take thousands of times longer to bring into your reality. When you affirm a phrase, feel it as it’s your Truth. Once you do this, your brain believes it. When you put it in practice, your brain makes it a permanent piece of your reality. In order to up the ante even more, put the phrase “I Am” (capital A in Am) in front of your affirmation. This brings an extra level of divine vibes to your manifestation.
• Gratitude Photography or Collage: Take photos of things that make you feel grateful, and create a gratitude album to revisit, or consider putting together a collage of images or words that represent things you’re thankful for. Place it somewhere visible as a reminder.
• Create a Routine: If you have a spiritual practice or morning/evening routine, incorporate gratitude into your prayers or spiritual reflections.
• Take a Class: Perhaps you find groupwork a stimulating way to relax and receive energy. Grabbing a class in mindfulness, meditation, or yoga that leans into gratitude is for you.
• Gratitude for Challenges: Reflect on a difficult situation and find something to be grateful for within that experience, such as a lesson learned or personal growth. The more you reflect on the positive outcomes from past situations, the more your brain realizes that challenges are nothing but exciting new avenues for positive life change. Put challenges you’ve overcome into your album, collage, or dream board as a reminder that you CAN do this, you’ve done it before, and the world is your oyster when you put these practices to work.

By nurturing gratitude as a daily habit, you build a repertoire of positive experiences and create a powerful mindset that attracts more positivity and abundance into your life. The ripple effect of gratitude can influence not just your personal well-being but also your interactions and relationships with others and your entire community. 

My Two Secrets

I’ve already alluded to them… however, I feel a whole chunk is necessary in this post to drive these points home. If you don’t have time for a journal, jar or meditations, these are for you.

Feel Your Gratitude

The first thing is to feel deeply into something you hold gratitude for. If you don’t actually feel grateful for something, don’t force it. Move on to something simpler or smaller that you can actually feel a positive feeling for. This immediately changes your hormones and brain chemistry and makes your practice super-charged. If you had a bad day, just focus on the air you get to breathe. The fact your amazing feet (or perhaps wheels if you’re in a wheelchair!) worked to get you place to place. Thank your heart for beating, your skin for holding your insides in, or a cloud for letting your imagination go for just a moment. If you have an animal you receive good vibes from, for Pete’s sake, now’s the time to send them back! Return the good feels through some highly intentional gratitude their way! They need their cup filled up to remain healthy, too.

My #1 Gratitude Secret

So what happened during the days, weeks, and months after my ex left me exhausted, with a baby in two casts, and crushing PPD during the COVID years of no in-person therapy (shoot, I didn’t have the insurance for it anyway!)? 

I replaced the victimhood with one word. A mantra. With no feeling behind it, nothing but the word, repeated over and over:

“Love.”

“Love.”

“Love.”

If you find yourself in a place like I did, repeat this mantra as long as you can, whenever you can. Don’t feel into it. Don’t put any energy into it. Just say or think the word. You will automatically have the vibrations of the word entering and surrounding you, even though you probably won’t feel it. Just keep doing this whenever you have a moment to yourself. 

In my experience, this helped my energy rise enough to begin feeling the word in teeny bits here and there. From then on, I kept layering on feelings and words to the mantra to get up to a gratitude practice. It took me a while to change my brain and hormones enough to make huge strides, so be careful with yourself. This has been one of the most helpful pieces to my entire self-love and spiritual journey. I trust it will be useful for you or someone you love… it truly works wonders.

Get Help

If you’re stuck in creating or maintaining a gratitude practice, consider going to a therapist, coach, spiritual healer, or joining a group of people you can talk to openly and safely, preferably those on the same path as you and who regularly practice gratitude as well. In my group, Beyond, I provide energy healings, channeled messages, meditations, and courses (check out my morning ritual course to highlight and drive the gratitude and energy alignment home for the day!) I would love to see you there, and we can dig into your blocks and questions around everything gratitude and spiritual!

References

Gratitude journaling can improve sleep quality by 10%

People who practice gratitude are 25% happier

Daily gratitude practice can reduce depressive symptoms by 30%

Gratitude journaling can improve sleep quality by 10%

Emmons, R. A. (2008). Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.