Using Spirituality to Release Control

Understanding Expectations, Judgements, & Opportunity and how they relate to your Trust in Source.

As per Collins Dictionary, an expectation is a strong hope or belief about how someone should behave or something should happen. Research shows that expectations are often developed from past experiences. (Curtin, 2019) Judgments are linked to expectations and are shaped by our mental filters, emotional history, and the cultural and spiritual frameworks we’ve inherited. (Hirt, Kardes, & Markman, 2004)

These psychological and energetic patterns become fertile ground for deep spiritual exploration. This is where spirituality enters as a tool to illuminate and shift our awareness.

Let’s unpack this further:

Expectations are intimately tied to our beliefs. We view the world through a personalized lens shaped by our experiences. Judgments are also painted by these expectations and intensified by external influences—society, family, culture, and even outdated spiritual doctrines.

Let me wrap this up in a word I lovingly borrowed from a friend’s therapist: “shoulding.”

• He should do this. I should have done that. If not, everything goes wrong
• I should feel a certain way—or else I’m not spiritual enough.

This habit of shoulding feeds off our spiritual disconnection. It clouds our clarity and keeps us stuck in fear, disempowerment, and control.

The Spiritual Cost of Shoulding

When we rely on expectations—of ourselves or others—to feel joy or validation, we tether our happiness to external control. We become reactive instead of responsive. When expectations aren’t met, disappointment takes over, and the inner critic (your ego’s loudspeaker) starts chattering.

That critic says things like:

• You’re not enough
• You failed again
• Why can’t you get it right?

Sound familliar?

I’ve lived that. For decades. And it feels like emotional quicksand—like being trapped in a pit of control, fear, and spiritual misalignment.

But here’s the good news: Spirituality offers a way out.

When we move beyond expectations and judgment, we step into trust—in ourselves, in Source, and in the divine unfolding of life.

In spiritual terms, this means shifting from rigid control into the nourishing, creative energy of surrender. It’s about letting the feminine flow of intuition, trust, and divine timing lead the way instead of the toxic masculine push for control, predictability, and perfection.

Expectations say: There’s only one right way.
Spirituality says: There are infinite possibilities.

That’s where the transformation begins.

Inviting Spiritual Light and and Opportunity

What do we do when we’re caught in the trap of expectations but haven’t yet built solid trust in the Universe?

We start with one small crack of awareness—and let the light of spirituality in.

Let’s redefine the situation. Collins Dictionary describes opportunity as “a favorable or advantageous combination of circumstances.” In a spiritual context, opportunity arises when we surrender the “how” and allow the Spirit to guide us through an ever-unfolding field of potential.

This is spiritual surrender in action. Not giving up—but giving over.

Opportunity exists beyond expectation. It invites us to live in a way that is responsive rather than reactive, curious rather than controlling.

This spiritual approach invites mystery, imagination, possibility, and freedom back into our lives.

Releasing Control through Spirituality

When we embrace a spiritual growth mindset, we shift out of fear-based control and into possibility.

Here’s a quick journal practice to bring spiritual consciousness into your everyday:

• When I’m “shoulding,” what unmet expectation is underneath?
• How is this expectation affecting my peace or joy?
• Is there a spiritual truth or belief being challenged?
• If this were actually a divine opportunity, how might it benefit my path?
• How can I let Spirit show me another way?
• What would it feel like to let go of control and walk by faith?
  

You are not meant to carry the weight of control on your shoulders. You are here to co-create with the Universe.

The Spiritual Practice of Letting Go

Humans are wired to expect. Our culture reinforces this. But spiritual awakening begins when we pause and question those expectations.

You don’t need to erase them all—just begin inviting in curiosity, childlike wonder, and sacred trust.

Spirituality offers us tools to:

• Reframe our thinking.
  
• Let go of control.
  
• Expand into divine opportunity.
  

Release the “shoulds.” Embrace the flow. Trust in the spiritual process.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’re struggling with releasing control or feel stuck in the trap of expectations and judgment, I invite you to join The Healed Collective Waitlist—our sacred group for spiritual growth, weekly energy healings, and guidance straight from Source.

Let us help you deepen your spirituality and support you as you reclaim your peace, power, and purpose.

Your path is sacred. Let Spirit take the lead.

References

Collins Dictionary. (n.d.) Expectation. In Collins Dictionary.com dictionary. Retrieved February 2, 2022
Collins Dictionary. (n.d.) Opportunity. In Collins Dictionary.com dictionary. Retrieved February 2, 2022
Curtin, R. (2019). Consumer Expectations: Micro Foundations and Macro Impact. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. doi:10.1017/9780511791598
Hirt, E. R., Kardes, F. R., & Markman, K. D. (2004). Activating a mental simulation mindset through the generation of alternatives: Implications for debiasing in related and unrelated domains. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 40(3), 374–383.